then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
