My first STD was from a foam party
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
