Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
