I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize
