The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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