there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize
