omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
