He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
