Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
