I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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