You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
