I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
