The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
