You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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