Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
