The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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