i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
