I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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