There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
