You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
