I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
