i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
