I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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