he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
