Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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