She is in my trunk
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
