one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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