do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
MIDGETS
????
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
