We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
