so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Text me some of your sweat
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Randomize
