i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Randomize
