This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Randomize
