told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Randomize
