On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
His nipple licking is glorious
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