Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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