he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize