Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
