Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
