FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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