The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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