apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
