i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
