if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize