We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
