the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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