Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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