About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
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