This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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