left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
She's the barista slut.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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