he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
