I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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