As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
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