I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
