i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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