Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
3pm strippers are depressing
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Randomize
