The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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