Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
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